i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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