yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
