i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
