there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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