I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This can only be settled by a dance off.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
