He uses pillows to masturbate.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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