he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
