That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
if only i could text you this smell
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Sext me about skeletons
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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