Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
