garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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