I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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