this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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