dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
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thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being pregnant is like rehab
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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