do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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