No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
