grandma shit on top of the toilet
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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