Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
