Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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