Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
