Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think my moral compass just broke
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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