He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Thank you for not boning my boss.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize
