i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
