In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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