Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
