So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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