Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
