It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
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