Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize