Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
