i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
