Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Randomize
