i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
