I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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