A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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