Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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