Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
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Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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