hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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