he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
