you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
