oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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