its not stalking. its research.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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