Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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