i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
