Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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