Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
