I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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