nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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