i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
