How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
