Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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