Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
3pm strippers are depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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