I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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