I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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