If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
