The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
