I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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