Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
it hurts more in the daytime
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
