i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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