Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize