Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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