I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
