I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
