Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
