She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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