My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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