Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
